How Do You Write a Blog Post About Things That Annoy You Without Sounding Snarky or Unbalanced?

You can't.

Roll with it.

1. I hate it when people try to make me feel, ironically, stupid for using a word, term, or topic in conversation they don't understand. This goes back to high school for me, but now, as a gainfully employed woman who writes for a living, I'm ready for y'all to shut it already. It's not like I'm quoting Proust or something. And if you just asked what I meant, you'd know something new you didn't know before. Trust me- this would make you a better person and probably a lot funnier. 

But I do like - daisies. They're sunny and simple, like nature's vapid little Homecoming Queen.

2. I hate it when I'm interrupted in the middle of a sentence, especially when the interrupter was not part of the conversation to begin with. It's not cool, so stop it. You're not that important.

But I do like - Karamel Sutra ice cream from Ben and Jerry's. I like it so much I won't smear it all over your face when you interrupt me, because I would not want to waste any of the delicious caramel core inside. 

3. An addendum to number one - people who assume they know everything and go through life saying supposably, expresso, prostrate cancer, and irregardless.

But i do like - espresso with a nice chocolate chip croissant.

4. I hate women who think it's cute to act dumb or talk like children. You're setting all of us back decades everytime you giggle and twirl your hair and say 'Iiiiiiii dooooon'ttt knoooowwww.'

But I do like - Falling asleep to a thunderstorm. Serenity Now.

 5. Conversely, I also can't stand children who act like adults. Mostly little actors. The only motivation a 5-year-old should have is Chicken McNuggets or an extra half-hour of Dora.

But I do like - scarves and hats. And playing dress-up. 

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