Everyone up 'n left immediately after the last tape in the batch ended, with Leatherface waving his chainsaw in the air at the permanently damaged heroine escaping in the back of a pick-up truck.

I love horror movies. But I was shelled. And when I suddenly found myself completely alone in a big house in the woods of Cape Cod, the terror of that sick flick only grew. It still freaks me out - even the bad remakes and sequels and prequels are disturbing.

However, it's the dawn of a kindler, gentler new day for Texas, Chainsaws, and Massacres. This weekend, back at the Cape to do some event planning, I had one of the best sandwiches I've ever had by the same name, at the Box Office Cafe in Chatham, where all of the sandwiches, drinks, and pizzas are named after movies (I blogged about the place once before here).

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't messy nor does it contain people, so I'm not sure where it got its name, but here's the lineup: cracked pepper turkey, roast beef, pesto, mayo, tomato, and mozzarella cheese on a toasted ciabatta. Killer.

Some of the other offerings include The Poseidon (tuna), The Rocky (Italian), The Animal House (meatball sub), and The Caddy Shack (a club sub). As for pizza, there's the Good Night and Good Luck, for one -- described as topped with garlic, garlic, tomatoes, and more garlic -- and for breakfast, there's a selection of sandwiches all named after directors. Where else are you going to walk in and say "Uh, yeah, hi. I'll have a medium coffee and an Erich Von Stroheim. Thanks."

Plus, the Box Office has a cute mini-store with mugs, totes, and t-shirts like these:

After lunch, there were other interesting things happening on the Cape of Cod this weekend: we spotted a cruise night sponsored by the Cape Cod Classic Car Club in Dennis, for instance:

And on Saturday night, we caught Earth Junior at Arturo's. EJ is my brother's band - a surf rock trio that's been playing on the cape for more than a decade. They treated the crowd to Sweet Caroline during the seventh inning of the Red Sox game:

My brother told me he hated the rendition, but I had to share it with Red Sox Nation. And besides, it's not like they massacred it or anything.

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Eat right, get your circulation flowing, and maintain proper posture: these are the latest travel tips from the Historic Hotels of America .

In a press release from the organization, in tandem with the National Trust for Historic Preservation, seven historic hotels share some of their advice for healthy, tension-free traveling.

It’s a relatively ingenious press release, actually, as press releases go: it offers information and expert opinions, while at the same time publicizing a few of the nation’s more well-heeled tourism destinations.

“The Hotel El Convento in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, reminds guests of the importance of staying hydrated,” reads one bullet point, for instance.

In addition to getting your eight-glasses a day, here are some other tips HHoA member hotels suggest:

• Standing in long lines and racing through terminals takes a toll on the feet. To rejuvenate, Leah Wagner, lead fitness instructor at the Spa at Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz , N.Y., offers a simple suggestion. Place a tennis ball or similar sized firm ball under the ball of your foot. While seated, roll the ball back and forth under the arch of your foot. This can be done in your hotel room, at your desk or even on an airplane. 


• A sure-fire way to feel tired and irritable after traveling is to indulge in junk food. Instead, Sheryl O’Brien, spa director at the Old Edwards Inn and Spa in Highlands, N.C., recommends reaching for fresh fruit. A quick candy bar or bag of chips at the airport or gas station might offer a quick fix, but will only bring you down later. A more nutritious snack will fill you up and provide a good source of energy. 


• Daniel Chong-Jimenez, executive chef of the Spa at Norwich Inn in Norwich, Conn., suggests eating light meals comprised of lean protein such as chicken breast, tuna and light ham, along with greens and vegetables. He says eating carbohydrates such as pasta, bread and sweets will result in drowsiness and diminished energy. 


• The Hotel El Convento in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, reminds guests of the importance of staying hydrated. This is especially true when traveling to warmer climates and higher altitudes. The El Convento offers abundant supplies of bottled water at various points throughout the hotel. 


• Kate Means, director of the Spa of Colonial Williamsburg in Williamsburg, Va., which includes the Williamsburg Inn and Colonial Houses, advises getting adjusted to the new time zone quickly. Set your watch on the airplane, then focus on diet, exercise and relaxation and enjoy your surroundings. There are some great places in this world and you should take the opportunity to appreciate them. 


• Once you reach your destination, don’t just sit on the couch. Sue Andersson of the Jekyll Island Club Hotel in Jekyll Island, Ga., says getting up and out will start you off on the right foot. Take a 20-30 minute stroll early in the morning to clear your mind for the day ahead, to get your circulation flowing and to explore the sites. For instance, on a walk near the hotel you will see beautiful century-old cottages, the Jekyll River, the Historic Wharf and the huge oak trees covered with Spanish moss. 


• Maintaining proper sitting posture while traveling will help to prevent neck and back soreness according to Rob Vorhees, head personal trainer, and Phyllis Ellerman, fitness director at the Sports Club at Boar’s Head Inn in Charlottesville, Va. They suggest keeping your seat in a more upright position; keep your head in upright position; support your lower back by placing a small rolled-up towel between your lower lumbar back and the seat back; and keep your shoulders in proper alignment. 


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I  got an email about these snappy looking Globetrotter logbooks from the Belgian Company Morton, Diaz and Cook.

With cool graphics and place to record notes, milestones like passings (of longitudes and latitudes or of the Equator, for instance), and store unique souvenirs, the books are a nifty gift for anyone.

But beyond that, the logbooks will soon be connected to the Globetrotter Web site, so registered users can record their travels and track those of others. There's also a photo contest for registered users now underway.

Read the full press release here

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However, the town is experiencing a Renaissance. I arrived in Truckee on April 2 and was able to take in the mountainous scenery, the moderate temperature, and the quaint little shops and eateries. Truckee has maintained its 'Gold Rush' feel, but today, the storefronts don't advertise picks and shovels, but instead designer threads and upscale gifts. Restaurants range from sushi to Mexican to American fusion, and the bars are stocked with rows and rows of fine wines, in keeping with the region's growing wine culture.

My host, Shanna, and I sampled the beef carpaccio, oysters on the half shell, and a few local vintages at the Pacific Crest, which recently merged with the adjacent American Bar. The bar's walls feature shelves of red, white, and rose wines, including a local Zinfandel that our bartender said is also experiencing a resurgence ... not too sweet, but with a sophisticated edge... not unlike the town in which the bottle was uncorked.

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Later in the evening, an independent film is screened - Tales of the Rat Fink, narrated by John Goodman and featuring the music of The Sadies, who will perform at Lebowskifest on Saturday. Rat Fink tells the tale of Ed Roth, famed hot-rod racer, designer, and, according to the film, the father of a number of pop culture phenomena such as T-shirts with original designs, pin striping, and multi-colored Macs. 

Shuffitt explained that the film was chosen to be part of Lebowskifest due to Goodman’s and The Sadies’ involvement Goodman is a star of The Big Lebowski and The Sadies are headlining on Saturday at L-fest. But also, because there is some cultural crossover in its content -- Lebowski fans are also often connoisseurs of the American pop culture experience. Indeed, as the films credits begin to roll, the once boisterous tone of the backyard party begins to quiet, and all eyes are on the screen as complimentary bags of homemade, buttered popcorn are passed around.

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Russell explains that Lebowski Fest started inauspiciously enough -- he and Scott, both in their early thirties, met through mutual friends about seven years ago and, upon discovering their shared love for The Big Lebowski and other Coen Brothers films, began mulling the idea of hosting a party at a bowling alley with a Lebowski theme.

 “We figured 20 of our closest friends would show up,” said Russell, with a thick Kentucky drawl that he and Kinney also share.
But they underestimated the draw their impromptu homage to the film would have. That first year, hundreds flocked to the party, many dressed as their favorite characters and quoting lines from the film as often as they made drink orders for beers, sarsaparillas, and syrupy White Russians in chintzy plastic cups. The next year, when Shuffitt and Russell decided to give Lebowski Fest another go, people came to Louisville in the thousands.

Now, Shuffitt estimates that visitors from about 35 states travel to the fest, though he said as the event grows it’s getting harder to track who is coming from where. Lebowski followers are increasingly creative with their wardrobe choices, too -- while many still come dressed as Walter, in his trademark field vest, or The Dude, in his bathrobe and sunglasses, or Jeffrey Lebowski, in his three-piece suit and wheelchair.

But some, Russell said, spend months crafting their original costumes, not unlike Star Wars fans, Rocky Horror disciples, or Trekkies.
 “Last year, some one came dressed as a Creedence tape,” he said, to which Shuffitt added that several people have attended dressed like a severed toe.

 “For whatever reason, it’s always really attractive women who come as a toe,” he said. “I can’t figure it out.”

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As the dinner hour approaches, we hail a cab and travel due West to Frankfort Ave., Louisville’s artsy, earthy section. The street is peppered with tapas bars and sushi joints, as well as a number of antique shops, consignment stores, and art galleries -- one of which is the scene of Lebowski Fest’s first event of the long weekend, an art show featuring works inspired by the film and an accompanying outdoor party and film screening.

While steeped in images of bowling, the art in the gallery, operated by independent artists who make up the Greenhouse Art Project in Louisville, is impressive.

There are oil paintings of The Dude, hand painted  bowling pins, handmade clocks featuring Nixon’s bowling silhouette, and a silk-screened rug titled ‘It Ties the Room Together,’ among others. Local Louisville artists made many of the works, and nearly all are for sale, at bargain basement prices.

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Again, the question of ‘Why Lebowski Fest?’ comes up, as everyone has a theory, and everyone is ready to debate the subject. Chris Helms, a business writer from Dayton, Ohio, mused that Lebowski Fest resonates with a crowd that is constantly looking for something to validate being an outsider.

“People who like this movie, they were always the underdog, say in high school,” he said. “There’s a commonality among everyone who comes to Lebowski Fest, regardless of the reasons the originally became fans of the movie. It transcends age and societal status, and creates a common denominator that connects thousands of people.”

Similarly, John Back, an architect from Cincinnati, Ohio, said the film has a little bit of everything, from cowboys to young vixens to performance artists, and that is what pulls people toward the film. But he added that even with so many different characters to choose from and identify with, there’s also a little bit of one man -- The Dude -- in everyone.

 “All of these characters influence his life and set this wild set of events in motion,” he said. “The Dude is a guy who’s almost out of control ... but not quite. Everyone can identify with that feeling.”

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T-shirt sales were brisk, and many were snatching Lebowski Fest hoodies to help fend off the cold as well as this year’s limited edition Lebowskifest T-shirt, which each year features a different quotable line from the film. While last year’ shirt announced ‘I Can Get You a Toe,’ this year’s was more assuring, stating ‘At least I’m Housebroken.’

School buses shuttled fans to and from the hotel and the screening, stopping in front of the Dude-mobile, an avocado green Plymouth Fury outfitted with a bowling-trophy hood ornament, copious Lebowski-inspired stickers, and a ‘Dude’ license plate.

Will Russell popped the trunk to prove that the replica of the film’s signature automobile is authentic inside and out -- inside are two bowling pins, a bowling ball, and a naugahyde bag filled with dirty laundry, representing ‘the ringer.’

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I guess that’s one of the biggest symptoms of this ‘kinship’ everyone mentions when I ask the question ‘why.’ It starts with a great movie, and a handful of friends who enjoy it. They begin quoting lines to each other, a sort of inside joke among buddies. But in the case of The Big Lebowski, that ring of buddies is thousands strong, and quotable quotes become more than that ... they become the most audible proof of a phenomenon that no one can quite explain, or quite understand. The only thing Achievers know is they’re in on the joke.

Uncle Charlie, incidentally, took second place in the costume contest, losing only to the Pope, who, according to Walter, shits in the woods. The Sadies, Lucky Pineapple, and a few other great acts served as entertainment at Saturday's 'Garden Party,' as well as games like Bob for the Severed Toe and of course, bowling at the Executive Strike n' Spare Bowl.

I'm exhausted. But Lebowskifest is one part of Weird America that I think represents the niches in which anyone can fall -- and sometimes, flourish.

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Friday’s festivities were limited to a double screening of The Big Lebowski and another Coen brothers film, Raising Arizona, so there was ample time to meet and greet in the hotel lobby and bar.

One group in particular caught my interest -- four men in their late twenties who drove eight hours from Kansas City to attend Lebowski Fest, after months of counting down the days on their ‘Gutterballs’ dry-erase board.

“We used to live together and we spent hours watching the movie over and over,” said one, Jeff Kinney. “We did a search for something Big Lebowski related once -- I don’t even remember what it was -- and that’s how we found out about Lebowskifest.”

He said he and his friends had waited three years to attend, but something always got in the way, until this year.

Their wait isn’t the most notable part of this group’s story, though. Traveling with them is a fifth Lebowski-fan – Jeff Kinney’s Uncle Charles, whose remains are carefully packed into an oversized Folgers coffee can -- Donny-style.

“He was a great guy, he loved the movie, so we decided to bring him along,” he explained, noting that not only was Charlie along for the ride, but also in costume -- the group entered the remains into the costume contest, to be held today. It’s the biggest thing that’s happened to Charlie since his death, Kinney said.

 “We never could decide what to do with him,” he said. “We don’t plan on scattering the ashes here, or ever. He’s just along for the trip.”

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But still, it took a while to see the Lebowski effect begin to take hold in Louisville. The hotel was quiet yesterday afternoon, as was the nearby bowling alley where many of the festivities are to be held. 

My first glimpse into the Lebowski world came at about 5 p.m., when a dead ringer for The Dude walked by me in the hotel lobby, checkered shorts and blasé attitude in tact. I said hello; he nodded nonchalantly and continued to saunter into the hotel restaurant.

In the adjacent hotel bar, two ‘Achievers’ are sipping white Russians (Caucasians) and attempting to explain the Lebowski phenomenon to another group staying at the hotel this weekend - a reunion of World War II veterans. It’s painful to listen to the gaps in comprehension on both sides of the conversation, so I turn my attention to the ‘Welcome All Achievers’ banner hanging in the dark lounge ... it announces that two of the sponsors of the event are Kalhua and Stoli, the two ingredients in the drinks made famous by the film.

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This year, everything from an angry Pillsbury Doughboy (the Pillsbury Snowboy) to a six-foot skeleton dubbed 'What Tree?' glided down the main slope and over a formidable mogul. Sometimes, the dummies landed with success, and sometimes with crushing, hilarious consequences.

Awards are given for Best Jump, Most Creative, Best Crash, and other categories, and modest gift certificates and chotchkes are given for prizes.

After the merriment, skiing resumes ... and it is proven that Tahoe isn't just for slots and slopes. It's also a great venue for Weird America.

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Shanna knew the answers to many of these questions - for instance, the Lake has 72 miles of shoreline and is the 12th deepest lake in the world. It's also about 99% pure, making the water a deep, cerulean blue at its greatest depths and a light emerald in its shallow parts (such as in the aptly named Emerald Bay section).

The questions she couldn't answer - largely because their answers hail from the bubbling fountain of useless knowledge into which I'm always throwing pennies - were soon addressed on the M.S. Dixie , a large paddle boat that cruises the lake and offers a sampling of factoids in addition to lunch and drink service.

Shanna and I nodded solemnly as a pre-recorded voice relayed these facts to us, and we munched our wrap sandwiches and sipped a couple of Sierra Nevada brews - when in Tahoe, I say.

"Guess that answers the currents question," she said between bites.

"Indeed," I replied. But I'm still curious to know more about that rumored creature of the deep. How many are there? Has it evolved? Can we go on an expedition to find one? 

Does it ski?  

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The FDA has certified a portable air filter called the Plane Clean (read about it at Gizmodo ) , which mounts to the small air vent above your seat and removes about 99.5% of allergens, bacteria, and viruses.

The filter is more effective than oral immune-system boosters and less conspicuous than masks, and is also inexpensive – the units are available at Target and Amazon.com for about $20. I wrote about it here.

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Visit the Cape Cod Factory Outlet Mall’s Web site and the first thing that pops out at you is the sentence that screams ‘Largest Factory Outlet Mall on Cape Cod!’

Ok. Except that’s sort of like saying ‘Nauset Beach has the most sand.'

But we were there on a mission -- clothes. Shoes. Maybe a colander.

Inside, we stopped to look at the store directory and quickly realized a glance to the left and right was sufficient. But it’s here that this rickety old strip mall turned into a wondrous paradise. The outlet stores, like Bass, Reebok, Bali, Van Heusen, and some local favorites like t-shirt shop Soft as a Grape, have quality merchandise , i.e. last season’s best, at up to 70% off regular prices.

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